A email forward worth posting...

PARENTS

Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekend s
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.


Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

** AND A FOOTNOTE **

THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
If you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents
AND YOU MAY HAVE TO RAISE THEM, TOO!!!

Yes, I'm still here...

I realize it's been a while since I've blogged. Life has been hectic. I've been buried with projects at work, and Chris has been busy with work as well, along with his new umpiring schedule.

Baby update:
We had another doctor's appointment this week. Riley was quite the stubborn one, since all we needed was an ultrasound picture of her face to look for any signs of a hair lip or clef pallet, and she politely kept her arm and hand across her face for 30-45 minutes. Normally this wouldn't have been a problem, except the technician kept poking my stomach to get her to move, and I had a FULL bladder. It's similar to the feeling of being in the car, having to go, and your husband hitting every pothole between you and the next available restroom.

Just last night, we went to Baby Time, and ordered a crib and tall chest of drawers for the nursery. We've also completed our registries and picked out all the essential and important items, such as car seat, stroller, etc. Who knew this was so complicated. There are just too many options these days.

So my baby bump has grown significantly in the last month. I was barely showing much at Easter, but I'm pretty obviously pregnant these days. I've only gained 7 pounds, which I'm ok with, but it's hard on a female to "grow into" clothes, and see that next increment of 10 pounds on the scale. It's all mental and takes me a little while to get used to. Not only am I growing, but Riley is too! Just this morning she was participating in one of her many kickboxing tournaments. This child is already on the move, and I think I'm destined for a few bruised ribs here in the last few months of pregnancy.

Chris is meeting with a potential painter to help us finish up the last of our big projects at the house. We've almost been in our house for 2 years, and we haven't gotten around to repainting our living room, which extends into our foyer, hallway, and upstairs. The biggest obstacle is our foyer is at least 20-25 feet high, and we just don't have the equipment or willpower to be up that high. Also, there is no dividing point to just paint the living room, it all flows together. The other reason we want it painted, is the people before us installed built in bookcases in the living room after they were in the house, and they are painted a shade off of the trim color. We didn't even realize it until we were well moved in. They also installed these units on top of the carpet, which Chris discovered when we were remodeling our floors. These are the same people who had wall to wall mirrors in the master bath, with a clear, 3-sided shower. I don't ask questions anymore! So, we are hoping to get all of the trim, walls, guest room, and nursery painted in one go. We'll see how it goes.

Longtime friends, shopping, showers, and other various activities

This past weekend, my best friend from birth, Alyson, came to visit. We had a great time catching up, and I picked her brain on all things pregnancy and baby related. She has the most adorable daughter, Cecelia, who just happens to be my Goddaughter. I had a baby shower to attend Saturday morning, so Aly was able to swing by and visit with Jordan. That afternoon and evening, we enjoyed a nice dinner at Bonefish Grill, followed by some great shopping. There's not anything better than dinner and shopping for quality girl time. On Sunday, we enjoyed breakfast, followed by the baby section of Target and creating the beginnings of a baby registry at Babies 'R Us. I say beginnings, because there are items Chris and I will need to pick out together, and the rest of it I'll have to do as I go along, because I was overwhelmed with all the products and decisions.

I was also able to venture out into our yard a little Saturday afternoon while Aly was out visiting other friends to do a little weed maintenance. Please see the note below about the amount of rain we've had. This has only helped jump start the grass turning green, but the weeds are out of control. I knew it was bad, but I didn't realize how bad our yard was until Chris was able to mow it Sunday afternoon. Much better, but it still needs more love and attention.

Chris has started umpiring as of this week. So far he's schedule with Cager to do two games a night, on Monday and Thursday nights. We have this week and next left of our bowling league. It's been fun, but I'm ready to have my Wednesday nights back. I have bible study every Monday night with a small group of senior high girls, and we attended the MSU vs. Memphis baseball game last night. I'm pretty sure my social calendar hasn't been this busy in a while!

Looking ahead, this weekend Chris will be in Canton/Madison with Cager umpiring a big tournament. Currently they have 6 games to umpire on Saturday and possibly 2 on Sunday. Although I'll miss my husband, I'm looking forward to a relaxing weekend, most of all a maternity massage on Saturday!

I'm feeling great, which is such a nice change. Riley has become quite the kick boxer and tap dancer, but it is pretty cool to notice her moving around. I'm very excited to get to meet this wonderful child and get to know her very soon!

Date night and more rain....

This past weekend, Chris and I had a real date. Granted, this might seem normal to most people, but this was something we haven't done in a while. We enjoyed dinner at El Porton, our favorite Mexican spot, while watching the basketball tournament. Then we ventured over to the Malco to see Vantage Point. I enjoyed it. Chris said it was a little predictable, and it could have stretched out more, but it was Friday night dinner and a movie, and I was pleased.

Saturday was a very lazy day at our house. It rained on and off most of the day, and I enjoyed the comfort of my pj's until mid-afternoon, when Cager came over to hang out and stay the weekend. Maris soon joined us that evening, and we had a double date! Two nights in a row! This time we went to see the movie 21, which is about the college kid who counts cards at the black jack table. I thought it was a little long, but Chris and Cager were practicing their counting abilities promptly Sunday morning after breakfast!

Sunday it rained all day. I don't mean a little. Our yard is marshy. Sunday was also Cager's birthday, but due to the rain, the 4 of us just hung out at the house until late afternoon, ventured downtown to Jillian's, then we had reservations for dinner at Texas de Brazil. Yum'O! Matt and April joined us, and we all enjoyed a nice dinner together. It's taken my body 3 days to get back to my "normal" pregnancy weight.

Have I mentioned the rain. Chris discovered last night the creek that runs behind our house actually flooded, and the water level came up pretty close to our flower beds, which is a distance of probably 25 yards or so. I'm dreading the rain we are expecting in the next few days because we need some time to dry out.

Pregnancy/Riley update:
I'm finally beginning to feel her kick/punch me. I noticed it the first time on Saturday morning, I could feel her hiccup which was so cute! It kinda creeped Chris out, but he'll get used to it. I've also reached the stage where my stomach is beginning to stretch more, rather than just fill in the the space where the 6 pack of abs belongs. It's just weird...that's all I can say. I'm also experiencing my face beginning to break out, which is new to me since I've always had fairly good skin. I've been a user of Neutrogena since I was probably 12, so I'm just adjusting to this new hormonal shift, and grateful it's not nausea or migraines.